Dear reader have you ever felt hopelessly inadequate? I was listening to Focus on the Family (TM) the other week. The guest insisted that I have a sense of inadequacy because I was spiritually wounded by my parents while I was a young child. This re-launched the constant internal debate over the utility of victimhood. While in the interest of not being a victim to the point of victimizing, My ego did suffer several setbacks at the hands of my parents that persist as psycho-buttons to this day. Should you criticize me the right way I would turn instantly into an inarticulate an somewhat more self loathing version of Woody Allen. I magically become my own engrams to put it scientologically.
The very act of self loathing is one such trigger. I detest it when other people indulge in it; I detest it even more when I do--to the point of self loathing. My own anger makes me angry. According to my understanding of the writings of John Gottman (The Mathematics of Marriage , MIT Press 2002), I am a couple in distress, and I should be divorcing myself within the year.
On the other hand, if only physical existence is considered, there is no morality without victimization. Morality is, physically, a collection of mentally imposed constraints on our activities as thermodynamic processes. Physically, all mental activity can be described as thermodynamic. Indeed, we are thermodynamic processes whose primary mission is the creation of entropy through the preservation of self. We are not inherently different from hurricanes except that we are slightly more complex.
Mental constraints emerge as an aggregation of punishments as behavioral and social conditioners. We are the sum of our punishments; we are the sum of our remembered traumas. We treat other humans well ONLY because we are tied down by childhood victimizations. I suppose I owe my parents thanks for victimizing me ... after all, I would not be able to function compassionately in society without their early ... uh ... reprovements. As a thermodynamic process in a self organized thermodynamic system, going with the flow leads to better production. These reprovements guarantee that I too can flow and be productive.
But I still have to wonder what is it that I/We are producing? Just heat?
The very act of self loathing is one such trigger. I detest it when other people indulge in it; I detest it even more when I do--to the point of self loathing. My own anger makes me angry. According to my understanding of the writings of John Gottman (The Mathematics of Marriage , MIT Press 2002), I am a couple in distress, and I should be divorcing myself within the year.
On the other hand, if only physical existence is considered, there is no morality without victimization. Morality is, physically, a collection of mentally imposed constraints on our activities as thermodynamic processes. Physically, all mental activity can be described as thermodynamic. Indeed, we are thermodynamic processes whose primary mission is the creation of entropy through the preservation of self. We are not inherently different from hurricanes except that we are slightly more complex.
Mental constraints emerge as an aggregation of punishments as behavioral and social conditioners. We are the sum of our punishments; we are the sum of our remembered traumas. We treat other humans well ONLY because we are tied down by childhood victimizations. I suppose I owe my parents thanks for victimizing me ... after all, I would not be able to function compassionately in society without their early ... uh ... reprovements. As a thermodynamic process in a self organized thermodynamic system, going with the flow leads to better production. These reprovements guarantee that I too can flow and be productive.
But I still have to wonder what is it that I/We are producing? Just heat?
posted by Thurmanukyalur at 1:40 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home